I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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