dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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