Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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