you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
