i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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