i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
