Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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