Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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