How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
