My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
