so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
