im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
