...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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