You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
