hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dick very happy bro
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
