I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Couch. On fire.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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