dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
