He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
