i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
