At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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