You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
