I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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