im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
