Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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