How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
