Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
