32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I looked at my own cervix.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
