i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
