Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
