I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this just has baby written all over it
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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