they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
