I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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