We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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