Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
