apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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