weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
