so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
