Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
