if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
