my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I am naked and annoyed.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
