3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we're making bets on your personal life
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize