I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
