and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
