He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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