Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
