I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
