Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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