Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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