I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
