that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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