i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Mom said you looked used
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
