Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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